Extended conversations are a leading indicator of a brand’s relevance. Simply put, if people aren’t talking about you, you don’t exist. This is why brands (and hotel chain heiresses) are so desperate for attention. This desperation permeates advertising messages and sales pitches; too often coming across as organized begging.

Extended conversations happen in their purest form in direct interaction with our fellow humans. The rules are simple. Be interesting. Be interested. Talk less, listen more. Pretty soon informal chatting evolves to meaningful conversations. This is how relationships are created.

The same rules apply to creating relationships between brands (or ideas) and an audience. The ability to extend a conversation effects first impression, messages and language, design, product usability—essentially every audience-facing area of a brand. Despite this, most brands suffer from severe short-sightedness. They focus on looking interesting long enough to attract attention; by putting a different topping on the oatmeal.

Beyond being interesting and listening more, how do you extend a conversation?

• Have you ever turned a statement into a question? I just did it there. I could have said “ask questions, instead of make statements”. However, by turning that statement into a question, I extended the opportunity to have further dialog. Asking questions creates context—see below.
• Marketing and sales pitches are rife with egocentric language. Most commonly, this is talking about what you do, how awesome your products are, and why someone should buy from you. The best way to extend the conversation is to create context. There is a reason the “Got Milk?” campaign worked so well—and why it’s been ripped off so many times. It creates immediate situational context.
• Beyond listening is the ability to understand what people really want. I’m not a psychologist or a behavioral expert, but here is what I have learned about humans:
• People change (or behavior is created) when you push one or more of the following buttons: Self-interest, social pressure, and/or moral stirring. In order to do that, you have to get to know your audience.
• We all appreciate the same thing from a relationship: intimacy, validation, appreciation. It is not coincidence that the lack of these things is the top 3 reasons people get divorced. The same logic applies to brands.

When is the last time a brand made you feel unique and special? I’ve asked this question in several workshops. The silence while people try to remember is deafening. Here in lies the opportunity to extend a conversation just by treating someone with genuine interest. “Did you find everything you need?” is a poor substitute for “How is your day going?”.

Anchor concept: Effective branding is not the ability to create awareness or even attract attention; it is the ability to extend a conversation.